ファック・ミー・ドール。

EMi. 24. Born in Yokohama, JPN, residing in Amsterdam.
Below is what inspires me. This is what I make out of it.

December 4, 2012 at 1:48am
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And it all kind of made sense.:: Give what you can, and you will receive.

I try to play cool and be “Psh, that was nothing, it was just an event hosted by our department chair”

…but quite honestly, tonight’s experience has gotten me really excited.
(Maybe the load of Thai food I ate isn’t really helping me either)
I’m yawning and I’m tired and a little crabby, but I’m still really happy.

I woke up this morning thinking “Ugh I have to go all the way to Valencia? Boooo… Can I just sleep all day?” …Boy I was wrong. I knew something exciting was going to happen as soon as I started helping with the set up for #kaliswapupshop at CalArts tonight. I was reminded how close knit we are as not only a group of colleagues, but something like a faux-family. Uncle Ramon being the leader of the gang and giving out directions, Nic diligently photographing+documenting away as we both eye the package from Maki Suzuki (I’m sure he has loads of pics of me in triple-chin action. Nic, don’t upload that please!), chit-chatting with Alexa as we posted the wallpapers, hanging the goodies on the wall the rest of the ladies… Kali, our design mom giving us directions on what to do next, and what to look forward to. A awesome surprise seeing my studio mates, and getting a big hug from Papa Daniel. Our faculty pouring in, Hazel swooping in to help us out, scheming the best tips with Tucker, Davey looking bitter in the corner because he didn’t win anything (yet). I was reminded how much I missed the gang, and how much we work well as a team. Oh, never mind “team”, we’re a family, a super rad one at that.

At the event, we were allowed 3 “bids”; in exchange of “tips” (example: Best coffee in town, etc), we were given sticky notes with our assigned numbers (covered by stickers, making all the “bids” randomized) to stick on the items. If Kali picks your sticky note, you receive the item in exchange of your “tip.”

I bidded on the following; Poster tube from Pinar and Viola, Mystery Package from Harmen Liemburg, and #3 of the BUTT book. I initially had a bid on a mystery package from Abake/Maki Suzuki, but I decided to take my bid off after seeing how much Nic wanted it. I’m more of a BUTT lover than a Sexy Machinery fan. It makes sense. Let the true fans have what they want! I knew Rachel really wanted the Pinar and Viola tube too, but at this point, I had become a cougar (the animal, not older women), vicious for its prey. I wanted the damn tube, and I wasn’t going to let anyone else have it. 

 My heart beat like crazy when Pinar and Viola’s poster tube went up for view. 66. Please. 66. Damnit Kali, take the orange sticky note!!!!!!!! …”Number 66!” …I literally jumped out of my chair, crashed into a whiteboard, and grabbed my prize out of Kali’s hands. One of my design heroes’ gifts? Now Mine. But at the same time, I saw how disappointed Rachel looked. I know how much Rachel loves Pinar and Viola. But I love them too! …But are Pinar and Viola super psychics from outer space? They had sent multiple copies of the same poster. I knew I was giving one of them to someone who wanted them as much as me. 

 I was a complete spaz while Harmen’s package was called out, and was paying zero attention. But I could let this one go; he had promised to send me a print in exchange of some Japanese goodies I had given him during a desk crit when he was visiting Otis. 

When the copy of BUTT went up, I began cussing uncontrollably. I want that damn thing. Jop van Bennekom is my graphic design hero, and that edition features Bruce LaBruce and Ryan McGinley. It’s out of print, and the chances of me being able to get it outside the swapupshop are: ZERO. I did my “Kali pick the orange sticky note damnit” chanting again. No, not the pink one!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO! …The magazine went to someone else. My heart sank. I wanted to cry. The worst part; I had to photograph the winner, while she had a full smile on her face, BUTT in hand. I wanted to attack her with the Pinar and Viola poster tube, snatch the magazine out of her hand, and run out of the room, and run up and the mountains of Valencia. No. I can’t do that. I congratulated the winner (halfheartedly) and went back to my station. Oh well. Life goes on, and Pinar and Viola is still by my side. The event was too much fun for me to stay bitter, and I reminded myself that I won something I really wanted already.

When all the items were handed out, we were given an opportunity to share our winnings with people who didn’t win any items. I gave one of my posters to Rachel, and seeing her happy made me happy. Graphic design love was in the air. …That was when Alexa came up to me, with the coveted BUTT in her hand. My first thought was “_________!! Go away!! Don’t show it off to me!!” !!!!!! …My jaw dropped when she placed Prince’s beautiful face into my hands. “I know you really wanted this, and I saw you giving Rachel a poster.” I couldn’t thank her enough. I don’t think I can ever thank her enough. 

Mind you, I’m not very spiritual by any means, but I was reminded that karma does, indeed, exists tonight. When you don’t expect anything in return and give wholeheartedly, you will be given something back. What was I going to do with 3 of the same posters anyways? Give, and you will receive. As corny as it sounds, I experienced this firsthand today.


So here’s a “tip” as a gift for all of you, in case you weren’t at the event tonight:
Be nice, but don’t be nice unless you mean it.